


A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

by whereamigoing



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Shipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 13:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4021375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereamigoing/pseuds/whereamigoing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mostly the feelings I felt in my last relationship, being told through Sams pov. Sam likes Jon, Jon doesn't know how to feel. Sam gets drunk and falls into Jon's bed complaining he wants Twizzlers. Things happen from there. (Nothing explicit)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> M/M relationship here.  
> My favorite ship!!  
> Teenage romance and alcohol use (over 18)

Samwell  
Sam had exited his 3'rd period class, and was preparing to open his locker when Grenn came over to him and said "Party tonight, Jon's place, nine sharp," and walked away. Sam took out his iPhone and set a reminder for the event, and then texted Jon to see if it was for real. Jon texted back immediately, like he was waiting for Sam to text him, and said "yeah". Sam opened his locker, shoved his books inside and grabbed his lunch. His smile by this time was so large he could barely hold it in. "Maybe I'll finally tell him," Sam thought to himself. He set off down the hall towards the lunch room.  
He entered through the double doors, and made his way to their usual lunch table. Jon was in the line for hot lunch with the others, but Satin had brought his own lunch. He turned to Sam and said "Miss your boyfriend Tarly?" in a not-so friendly mocking tone. Sam stuttered and said "Ummm mm He-es no-not my boyfr-friend". Sams cheeks flushed a bright shade of red and Satin could tell he was embarrassed. Satin said "He would never like you back anyway Mr. Piggy, if he was gay, he'd probably go for the obvious choice, me." Just as Sam was about to start crying or stammer out some pathetic excuse of a comeback Jon sat down and said "Whats up guys? Ready for my party tonight?  
Sam smiled at the sight of his beautiful best friend, and somehow answered "Yeah, it's gonna be great,wait, will the hot tub be available for our use?". Jon replied "Yeah, who are you planning to feel up in there Tarly?" Sam blushed to himself and said "No-one, its just relaxing." and to himself "You, if god allows me". With that thought he began to feel a bit hot and bothered, so he excused himself to the restroom. He rushed their and began to think of how his dad would torment him, and probably kick him out if he found out he was gay. That solved his awkward little problem in no time, but also made him want to cry his eyes out.  
Sam's mother knew, and had known since the day he was born she liked to say. She also encouraged him to not tell his dad about his sexuality, because she didn't want to lose him. It wasn't the best of situations, especially since his father already thought he was a weakling. His father didn't like that his son liked to read and sang in the schools chorus, but he especially didn't like that his son had never taken home a date before. Thank god his little brother was an athletic wonder kid, and took the heat off of Sam when possible.  
Sam left the bathroom and walked back to the lunchroom, and found Jon drinking his soda. Jon noticed his approach and put down the drink and tried not to laugh. "What are you laughing about?" Sam asked, which made Jon laugh harder. Sam looked down and saw that he had somehow done the classic movie cliche and gotten some toilet paper stuck to his shoe. He used his other shoe to remove it and sat down, grabbing his soda back from Jon.  
Lunch ends ten minutes later and everyone separates and goes to their individual class. Sam spent AP Biology thinking of Jon. When Mr. Aemon came around checking his notes he found Sam doodling the words "Mr. Samwell Snow" all over his notebook. The teacher gave Sam a knowing look, wrote something on his clipboard and walked away. Slightly perturbed as to what his teacher wrote, Sam looked on his desk after class and saw that it was just his grade, not a statement on his sexuality. Satisfied and no longer scared for his life Sam walked away to his last class of the day.  
While walking Sam texted Jon and asked "Can I just ride to your place right after school". Jon replied a few seconds later and said "yeah, but don't you want to get ready?" Sam replied with "I left my bathing suit in your room anyways ;)". Instantly regretting his winky face, Sam texted "lol". Which only made him look worse. Sam could only imagine the look Jon would have given him if he were there right then. Blushing, Sam entered his Statistics class and sat down next to his friend who was a girl, Margaery.  
As soon as he sat down he was attacked with a barrage of questions. "SO did you hear about the party tonight? What should I wear? Ohmigod we need to make you over so bad. Lets go to the mall after school 'kay?" asked Margaery Sam nodded, overwhelmed, and Margaery said "Great!" Sam texted Jon to let him know never mind on the ride, he was going to come with Margaery, and an apology. Sam put his phone away and tried to focus on class, but Maragery kept poking him asking for ideas on what to wear. Sam tried to keep up, but he wasn't the stereotypical fashion savvy gay guy Margaery thought he was.  
After class Sam crammed into the passenger seat of Margaery's mini cooper, and off they went. At the mall they stopped at every boutique that Margaery saw. Samwell had his hair trimmed, his nails clear coated, and his teeth whitened. He also got a new bathing suit, and a nice black button up with dark brown corduroys for the party. Whereas Margaery got her hair styled, her makeup done, got a spray tan, bleached her teeth and did every other thing women apparently needed to do for a party, but she still couldn't find that one dress she was going to wear. She still bought at least 12 different outfits while they were there though. Finally, as they were getting ready to go, and Marg was on the verge of bawling, she spotted a rose-print romper with matching heels, and ran towards them with a “Squeeee!" After she was done maxing out her dad’s credit card they left and went back to her house.  
Samwell said house, but in truth it was a mansion built into the side of a hill. The garden stretched through the whole yard and made a nice little path to the front door. They entered, and ran upstairs to Margaery's room to get changed. After that they went downstairs and ran into her brother, Loras and his boyfriend Renly. “You look good sis, need a ride?” Loras asked while Renly sniggered at the sight of Sam. “And who might this be?” Renly asked “your boyfriend Margy?” Sam blushed and tried to leave but Renly blocked the door. “Hey I’m talking to you, why are you hanging around Marg? She’s way out of your league, kid.” Renly said. Sam stuttered and tried to explain but he couldn’t make the words come out of his mouth. Finally, Margaery chimed in and said, “he’s not trying to get in my pants, he’s queerer than the two of you making out on top of a rainbow.” With that she stormed out, tugging Sam behind her.  
They got back into Marg's car and she started it, pulling out of the driveway like a maniac, and they were exiting her neighborhood befor she slowed down to under 60 mph. "That Renly is such an ass, I'm not sure what my brother sees in him." She said as they were pulling out of her neighborhood. Sam was too nervous to reply so he just shrugged. They drove silently for a few moments until Marg asked if he wanted music, Sam nodded, and so she put in a Panic! at The Disco CD and they began rocking out to "Build God Then We'll Talk". Sam was surprised that Marg would have some emo pop like this, but after that whole freak out it wasn't the craziest thing that had happened that night.  
They pulled into the golf course/housing development that housed the Stark mansion, still rocking out, when Marg shut off the music and asked "Do you hate me now? What am I saying of course you do, I just kind've told the whole world you're gay." She looked as if she was about to cry, which would ruin her makeup, which would make her cry harder. Sam tried calming her down and said "It's okay, calm down, it had to happen eventually. As long as it doesn't reach my father we should be just fine." She nodded and stopped looking like she was going to start crying. "I'm so sorry, anything you need, I'm here. I messed up so bad. I'll do my best to stop it spreading , but with Renly, who knows. That guy can make anyone believe anything he says." Sam didn't know how to reply to that, so he just nodded and gave her an awkward hug. They pulled into the driveway and Marg parked. They were a few minutes early, so they went in and helped Robb with a few last minute preparations, such as locking up valuables and putting snacks out.  
After that Sam went looking for Jon, he found him in his bedroom in the basement, putting his dog Ghost in his kennel and saying, "I'll let you out soon boy, don't worry," and as Sam was about to say something, Jon's maybe-girlfriend walked out of the bathroom and said "Hey Slayer, whats up?" Jon looked up and walked over. Sam said not much and tried budging her out of the way so Jon would focus on him. It worked and the girl walked away, while Jon began talking to Sam. "Nice to see you man, you look good. Haircut?" "Yeah Margaery made me get it." He pulled a bag out of his pocket and offered it to Jon "I hope you'll like it, I saw it at Hot Topic and thought it was kind've your style. Jon pulled a chrome ring with a howling wolf on it out of the bag and smiled. He slipped it on his finger and said "It's awesome, it fits perfectly too. Thanks man." With that he pulled Sam into an embrace that Sam hoped was more than brotherly.Blushing, Sam said "Hot tub?" Jon nodded and went back into his room to get changed. Sam went into the bathroom and put his bathing suit on, lacing it as tightly as he could.  
He exited the bathroom to see Jon in all of his splendor, a little on the pale side, but Sam liked it that way. His nice 4 pack was there and Sam found himself oogoling a little too long. "Sorry, spaced out," Sam said when Jon began to look confused by his friends awkward gaping. "Lets go" Jon said "Grab some drinks would you?" Sam looked inside the fridge, and saw two hard ciders, so he grabbed them and handed one to Jon. "Thanks, this will be the only thing I'll drink tonight probably," Sam nodded and thought, "I'm going to get shit faced so I can deal with your rejection later." Considering this Sam also made a stop at the mini tiki bar next to the pool and had Theon, mix him a vodka and vanilla coke.  
The Starks kept vanilla coke around the house exclusively for Sam it appeared. No one else liked it, but seemingly every time he came over there was a 12 pack sitting in the fridge. Sam liked to think the Starks liked him and thought of him as a good influence on their sons. In reality, Sam tended to get way more shitfaced than Jon at these impromptu parties. Yet he kept up the good, awkwardly shy little boy facade for Jon's sake, if his parents knew about how Sam really acted, they'd never welcome him back into their home, which would completely ruin Sam's dream of being with Jon in any way.  
Jon gave Sam a funny look about the second drink, but said nothing. Jon hopped into the hot tub and said, "damn this feels good. Get in Sammy!" Sam hated being called Sammy, but got in anyway. The hot water rushing through the jets felt great along the small of his back, sending tingles up his spine. He sipped his drink, feeling strange as the fiery liquid went down his throat. After a few more sips he no longer felt out of place and self conscious about his appearance, he just wanted to have fun. He turned the jets up and hit the switch to turn the music on. London beckoned songs about money by P!atd came on and Sam started laughing uncontrollably. The words of the song just felt so relatable to the events in place, "the taste of fire along his tongue", "with a good chance of a:indifference and b:disinterest". The alcohol made Sam feel like he was willing to skydive and base dive and do anything else extreme enough to kill a larger guy such as himself.  
The fear was still present though, because his coming out could go three different ways: one, Jon could freak out about having a gay person near him; two, Jon might not give a damn; and three, the most unlikely possibility, he could reciprocate some sort of feelings towards Sam. Sam dried off his hands with a nearby towel, and texted Margaery to tell her to get in the hot tub. She came a few minutes later and gave Sam the "Are you still being a giant pussy?" look and he gulped awkwardly to signify that he was. She forced the straw of her fruity looking cocktail into his mouth and said "Drink, it's good!", but when she really meant "Hurry the hell up and do it! There is a solid chance he might feel the same way!" Choking the blue concoction down he motioned for her to leave. She got out and walked towards the pool to talk to some of her girlfriends.  
"So are you two like, an item or something?" Jon asked. Sam almost choked and said "No, most definitely not." "Oh, okay then," Jon said looking somewhat pleased. Sam asked, "What makes you so interested in my love life all of a sudden?" The alcohol seemed to be making him braver by the moment. Jon replied, "No reason, just looking out for my best friend. People say she's a serial cheater." "Don't worry, it's entirely platonic between us. She's the exact opposite of my type," Sam said sarcastically. Jon gave him a knowing look but said nothing. Finishing his drink, Sam swallowed his fear and accepted what he was about to do.  
"Jon, I have something to tell you. You are my best friend and the person I trust most in this godforsaken world. I've been wanting to tell you this for a while, but I've been too much of a fucking pussy who couldn't man up enough to be himself." He took a breath. "I'm gay." Jon looked at Sam with an intrigued look in his eyes.They sat there in awkward silence for a few seconds until Jon said "Sam, buddy, you're my best friend. No matter who you like, I'm here for you. It..." He was in and a girl sans bikini top, who was drunker than anyone else at that party. They began making out, instantly repelling Sam from being anywhere near there. He got out of the hot tub and went inside to get redressed. After getting dressed he went into Jon's room and just laid down on the pillow, wishing he could've told the whole truth, not just part of it.  
As he was falling asleep, Sam heard someone come in. He opened his eyes and saw Jon, still wet from the pool, come in. Jon threw a t-shirt on and laid down next to Sam. "What you told me, that was really brave. I know you're drunk as hell right now, but just so you know, I think that you're braver than anyone else." Sam smiled at this and said "I'm only slightly drunk, just enough so that I can not stop saying what I think. Also, I really want some pretzel gold-fish. Or Twizzlers." "Okay," Jon got up and grabbed Sam a pack of Twizzlers from the stash of candy he kept in his drawer. Sam began devouring the licorice, and once he was done he said "Wanna just go to sleep?" Jon nodded in his agreement, and collapsed on top of Sam and said "I seem to have obtained a new, very soft pillow." Sam pushed him off, and Jon started laughing. Not the awkward "I stole your soda" laugh, but the "I have never laughed in such a perfect way before this moment" laugh.  
Sam rolled over and looked at Jon. Their eyes locked and played a game of flitting away and moving back again to meet once more. Sam and Jon had done this before, but that was in public, making jokes in front of their friends. This was something entirely different, something that made Sam confused about what he felt towards Jon. He didn't want to mess things up, and wasn't about to ruin this so far great night. He felt himself getting out of the bed before he realized what he was doing. He started talking without actually knowing what he was saying himself, "I-- Jon-- I don't know what you're doing, but I care about you a lot, and I don't want you getting the wrong idea, and I don't want to ruin our friendship and mess up whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, but just stop. I'm so lost within my own mind, I can't even say what I'm trying to." Jon grabbed his arm, and said, "I have no idea what you're saying. All I know is how drunk you are. Lay back down and let me get you a drink of water." Jon got up and grabbed a half empty bottle from his nightstand, shoving it in Sam's face. Sam drank tenuously and before he knew it the bottle was empty. He felt better and actually began articulating his thoughts in a semi-comprehensible way. "Jon, I really care about you, about us, and I just don't want to ruin our friendship." Jon looked at Sam like he was saying the most obvious thing ever. He laid back down next to Sam and said, "I know Sam, I know. What I don't know is how to feel. I don't want to stick you with the cliche of the guy coming out to his best friend in hopes that he'll also be gay, and it turns out the best friend who totally shouldn't be gay is." Sam sucked in some air at this revelation, and started choking. Jon asked "Are you okay? Do you need the Heimlich?" Sam stuck up a hand to signify he was fine.  
Jon relaxed and asked "Is it too cliche?" Sam nodded and they both began to laugh.The look in Jon's beautiful grey-blue eyes made Sam's heart flutter, but he said nothing. They just laid there, silently arguing over what was going to happen next. As Sam blinked he felt Jon move his head forward, but before he kissed him, Sam shoved his head forward and made the first move. As their lips touched, it felt like a lightning bolt had hit Sam. In that moment, Sam felt like that was the only real experience he'd ever had. Everything else was fiction except for that moment. Sam lost track of how long they kissed for, it could've been seconds, minutes, days; Sam didn't know. All Sam knew was that he belonged in that moment, more than he'd ever belonged anywhere else.  
The taste of cider mixed with licorice and vanilla rolled along Sam's tongue and it was the best taste he could imagine. Being wrapped up in the arms of his best friend just felt like it was the only place he'd ever belonged. Jon's hands running through his hair felt like pure ecstasy. Sam could've lived a lifetime in that moment. But fate refused to allow that, and before he knew what was happening, he felt Jon pulling back, heard him crying, felt the tears dampening his shoulder. His friend, his best friend was crying, because of him. Sam had never felt worse. Sam asked his friend why he was crying and was answered with just another sob. "I don't know how I feel anymore Sam. I'm just so scared. I don't know how people will treat me, and I don't want anyone to hurt you. Sam, I-I just so scared it hurts." Jon said despairingly.  
"Jon, I-I'm scared too. I just don't know what to say to you. That pain you're feeling, I feel it too. You're afraid because you don't know what will happen, and you don't want to get hurt, or even worse, for me to get hurt because people are stupid," Sam said, took a breath, and then "It's twenty fucking fifteen, if two men are in love who should say anything? This whole high school thing; its total bullshit. Whoever came up with the idea to stick all of our hormonal almost-adults into one place to torture each other was a fucking moron. Fuck them for thinking they know us. To quote some dead person, 'We are so much more than the sum of our base parts.' Think about how my dad would feel, think about how that would affect me, and finally, think about how little I care about that, because I'm with you right now. You don't want me to get hurt? Then lay back down and just stay with me. Leaving right now would hurt worse than any punch or taunt I could get from any moron out there."  
Jon looked hurt, but also relieved by what Sam had said. "Who knew you were so lyrical Sammy? I- I'm sorry for being so weird. I just, after what happened last time, I didn't think I could fall for anyone ever again. And it's so different, being bi or gay or whatever I am. I don't even know anymore. I just don't know anymore. I just don't know." Sam looked at his best friend and said, "Nobody knows anything, Jon Snow. Now lets get outside and enjoy this extremely fucked up party."  
They put their swim trunks back on, a bit awkwardly at first, but considering they just made out, it became less so quickly. After getting changed they went out into the backyard. Sam noticed Robb and his girlfriend in the hot tub, so he steered Jon clear from that, and as they walked by the pool, Sam pushed Jon in, and then jumped after him. The rush of cold water made his bones tingle, but it felt good. He and Jon splashed around for a bit, drank a few drinks, and eventually got out.  
As they were getting out Sam noticed Loras and Renly walking towards them. "Look, it's the plus sized fag and his..." Renly said, as Sam punched him directly in the face. Renly went down like a sack of potatoes. Jon looked at Sam, awestruck, and said "You just knocked the quarterback flat on his ass." "Yeah, I guess I did, didn't I? Guess he shouldn't be such an ass." Grenn and Pyp ran over, and Grenn said increduously, "You're like a bloodthirsty corgi." Pyp slapped him upside the head for that, and everyone laughed.  
After they had walked away, Pyp said "So are you two, like, official? Or is it like a fwb thing?" Which caused Sam to spit out his drink and start choking. Jon slapped him on the back to make sure he was okay. After that was over Jon wrapped his arms around Sam, and said "Yes, we are." And then he pulled Sam into a deep kiss.  
Sam jerked backwards, almost hitting his head on a nearby umbrella. He stammered "W-we-we are?" Jon nodded and looked at Pyp and Grenn and said "Don't tell anyone just yet." Pyp and Grenn nodded, and Sam felt as if they meant it.  
(End Part One)


End file.
